So here's so random stuff. The very first piece of mail I received in Baltimore (I think of it as similar to the "First Dollar" that small businesses have up in their establishments):
I know, you're saying, "D, wts? This is a sphere of water with some sort of branch inside. This does not come in the mail." Oh contraire! says I. And this is no ordinary sphere. It is an EcoSphere: The Perfect Balance of Science and Art. According to the website, it is "a complete, self-contained and self-sustaining miniature world encased in glass. Be wary of inferior and lower quality imitations. Easy to care for, an EcoSphere is an incredible learning tool that can provide powerful insights about life on our own planet... and provide a glimpse of technology that's shaping the future of space exploration."
See? There's an orange sliver of a sea monkey in the bottom left of the miniature world: it is meant to symbolize the human race. The one shown looks like it's dead but it's just hanging out on the terra firma or whatever.
It came with instructions: do NOT shake excessively; kept out of direct sunlight; do NOT put on top of a television or other electrical appliance. So far I've been able to comply with these rules but it is all I can do not to pick up the thing and get my Bowie on.
Jennifer Connelly is NOT in my EcoSphere, however, unless she has been transformed into a sea monkey. In fact, there are four sea monkeys in the sphere and they are difficult to tell apart so they are all named Ziggy-Delilah. I like to call the sphere Big Love; it can live for more than 10 years if I care for it properly! It comes as a birthday present from a friend in Calgary and while I love her dearly, she does not have this blog address. Every now and then I find Big Love World in a random pile of tablecloths-and-underwear on the floor.
In addition to unpacking, we've also been doing many random errand-running excursions to obtain things like toilet brushes. I say brushes because we have TWO bathrooms. So our BPP (bathroom per person) ratio is 1. Monty does not count as a person for statistical purposes. We also obtained gyoza wrappers to take advantage of E's superhero status at folding gyoza and have fortified our freezer reserves accordingly:
Mouth-watering fantasticness, right? She's a gyoza GENIUS!The mail has also delivered my new awesome cell phone which is both new and awesome! Yes, there's no real reason why I should be able to check my emails whereever I am, like I'm a shady bank executive or something, but the logic for getting such a tricked out phone was for the GPS capabilities. Perfect for a directionally-challenged person in a new town, right? But there is a downside:
The thing only gets a signal about half the time, which is Just Enough To Get Me Into Trouble. Damn you, AT&T. But I do get rollover minutes, and perhaps the navigational system will improve.
We did get out to Towson a couple of days ago and did things like get office keys, IDs, parking decals (which I pronouce as rhyming with heckle but everyone here pronounces as DEE-cal, will have to remember that) and met the "4 Faculty Secretaries" (that's what it says on their door). I'm trying to come up with a way to blog about my adventures in Towson without compromising E's career (maybe I've already done it?) but here is an exchange I had with one of the secretaries whom I will refer to as Blanche (I think I also met Rose and Dorothy but I'll have to meet the fourth to confirm).
Me: Hi, I'm D.
Blanche: Oh! Oh! I thought you were just E's helper today.
Me: Um. Well, that's really what I am.
Blanche: Oh, you help her in LOTS of ways, I bet.
Me: ...
E: Okay, well, let's go and see how the photocopier works!
I look forward to spending a lot of time with the Golden Girls because I think they're going to be my inroad into the workings of this new college.
Friends are coming from DC tomorrow so exciting excursions ahead!
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