A Bit Weird

I'm finding out that Ottawa is a fairly unique, dare I say "quirky," place. It's a biggish city (including the Greater 'Twa, it comprises about a million people, I'm told) but there's a small towniness to it that makes everyday a bit like an episode of Northern Exposure.

Here are three pieces of evidence I offer to support my claim:

1) The other day I went to a special invitation-only faculty lunch to be held in the sparkly head honcho admin building. An assistant had me and my other 9 other luncheon companions wait in leather chairs in the lobby for the president of the U and VP/Provost. We get in the room and there is a large banquet table laid out with china and silverware, cloth napkins, the whole nine yards. We sit down nervously. My companions are all tenured profs in various states of man-academic-science-guy formal attire: one is wearing a Ron Burgundy turtleneck and suit jacket, another a yellow short-sleeved office shirt with pocket protector a la Dwight Schrute, another a flannel shirt with holes in it underneath a black cardigan, another the latest fall line from the Gap (complete with stubble look - he's the one who tells us about all the NSRC money he just won), and so on. I feel a solidarity with the Prez because we're the only women in the room. I wonder: what kind of food will I be served? Squab? There's a knock at the door: Pizza Man!! He hands over the two cardboard boxes, the Prez whips out a pair of plastic tongs from somewhere and begins going around the table serving pepperoni slices (or veggie, our choice). Then she sits down and says, "Has anyone seen any good movies lately?"

2) The Azerbaijani ambassador to Canada is in my seminar. He had some time on his hands while stationed in the 'twa, thought he'd take a PhD in history, and wound up in my class. He has an MA from Harvard in Caspian Studies. I don't have to remember his name because I call him, "Ambassador." He's my favorite student (very polite).

3) Last week I went to the Lebanese grocery store on the way home from school. Bought $21 worth of stuff, handed the cashier a twenty and a ten, she gave me a handful of change which I pocketed and then left. Only later did I realize that she'd only given me the coin portion of the change and ripped me off for $5. But whatevs, shizz happens, I'd already walked home so it wasn't worth worrying about. Later that night I went to take Monty out for a walk and taped to my front door was the receipt for my groceries and a five dollar bill.

As E would say, "WHAAAAAAT." How did that happen? Did she follow me home? And if not, how did she know where I live? Does everyone know where I live because I'm the new kid in town? Or I'm that person with the nasty dog? And now, when I go back there to get groceries - because I'm going to, because it's the closest store on my way home - do I have to acknowledge what just happened? Will that be awkward? Or can I ignore it and will that be even more awkward? I guess if I see her I'll say something and pretend like this is all not totally weird and, I guess, thank her profusely for creeping me out to give me $5. I mean, she seemed perfectly nice and normal. But also, this is a bit like the start of a scary movie. Right? Creepy or just Ottawa, I leave it to you to decide, dear reader.