Nothing lost in translation

Oh, Agrestic, is it that time again?



Is it wrong to hope that an opportunistic criminal (is there another kind?) will see this and plan their breaking-and-entering/theft spree accordingly? Probably.

Because passiveaggressivenotes.com and my mother have trained me to spot this bullshit a mile away, I can translate this all for you, babblefish style. Translation: "I don't know if you know this but we're kind of a big deal. I guess you can hang with us but fucking pay for it, alright? We love everyone and alls but we're tired of freeloaders. Also, clean up your shit. Prepare for the shakedown; don't make us hurt you. Be there or be the transient stranger we know you are, Management."

Maybe it's just being back in CanEHda, maybe it's just the start of the semester, but I'm beginning to really appreciate the people out there who will just stab you in the face. I respect them.

Example: When my sister was at the ashram in India, they had a party one day and a co-worker's wife approached her and said, "What happened to you that your breasts are so small and sickly?" That's what I'm talking about. Nothing but respect.

Where Monty and I Opt Out

Generally, Montoya and I are liking the new digs and the new 'hood. But there are some dislikes. Firstly, the sign above. What the fuck does it mean? Leash, got that. Stoop and scoop (or suivez, pelle en main, my translation being "follow, scoop in hand" which nicely encapsulates the subservient relationship I have with my dog), got that. But then what's with the picture of the toilet? 'Cuz we're not doing that step - whatever the fuck it is. And I'd like to see the person who does.

Another dislike would be the flier I just received in my mailbox:

32 Annual Avenue Clambake
Come celebrate the Blakeman tradition!

When: Saturday, 5pm for the children's hotdog meal followed by entertainment, including the return of Russell Levia
6 pm for a street photo and the adults' meal

What's Needed: Your help with the set-up, getting food ready that day, and/or cleanup, a salad or dessert for the meal, and a small fee. To reduce the amount of garbage generated that evening, plan to bring your own plate, cup and cutlery.

Why: To enjoy a good time with old and new neighbours. The children play together, the adults chat, and everyone enjoys the meal and the fire. Later there's a singalong by the fire - if you like to sing, bring your flashlight to read the words by.

What's Next: A neighbour will be by shortly to recruit volunteers, to discuss the details of the meal and to collect the fee.

This makes me miss Balto.

Also, I think of that scene in Dead Like Me where George tells the carolers to eff off. Wait for it, it's around the 7:26 mark, though really the whole episode is apt: