Breaking news from my faculty inbox!
Dear Students:
It has come to my attention this evening that one of the windows on the second floor of the book stack in the Athenaeum was severely damaged today, requiring that it be removed and replaced at a cost of approximately $4,500. This is very disappointing and distressing news.
Initial investigation reveals that this damage probably occurred between 2:30 and 3:00 p.m., while many people were in the building for various purposes. While it may have been caused by an accident, the suspicion is that it is the result of a malicious act of vandalism carried out from the inside of the building. If that is the case, this is a violation of our community principles and all that this college holds dear. It is especially offensive that this should have occurred during the very week when the college is about to celebrate the opening of the Athenaeum and thank all of the generous donors who made possible this facility intended to enhance the lives and the experience of our students, faculty, and staff. Such an abuse cannot be tolerated.
We must obtain the facts about this incident as soon as possible. If you know anything about the cause of the damage – and it seems probable that some members of our community have information that would help the investigation – please notify Public Safety immediately. You can do so in person at the Public Safety office in, or by going to the Public Safety page on the college website and accessing the “Silent Witness” program. This program, which has been used successfully on many occasions in the past, will permit you to report information confidentially without identifying yourself.
There is no provision in the college’s annual budget for this kind of repair, and so I am hopeful that we will be able to identify the person or persons responsible for this or any other act of vandalism on campus before having to assess the entire student body in some fashion to cover the cost.
Thank you for any help you can provide. This is a case where the community can and must assert its values and its honor.
President
Bitter/Angry's reaction to news: "What kind of a moron builds a glass house and doesn't budget for a broken window?" Then she left to teach her class.
We must find a way to regroup and move on from this. I don't know how we'll make it through the building's opening ceremony today with this event hanging over us. First Farah, then MJ, and now this. Well, they say it happens in threes.
I would have gone with Dom DeLuise (d. 5/4/09) and Ed McMahon (d. 6/23/09) and the window as my three... but that's just me.
ReplyDeleteI'm with B/A on this one.
ReplyDeleteI feel like B/A might be quickly becoming the breakout character of your little academic drama. Either that or the "Silent Witness program." I want to hear more about both.
ReplyDeleteat first I thought the threat of having to "assess the entire student body in some fashion to cover the cost" meant some kind of Inquisition with students' relative window breaking capabilities measured. But maybe the prez just means fewer fatboys and treadmills in the Ath? It'd be great if all the kiddies got bills next month for $4500/#students. That's what, ~$15? Clearly the take home message is that we must renew our windowkeeping efforts everywhere.
ReplyDeleteB/A says there won't be any follow-up email so I'll never know how this will turn out! But hopefully, I'll find a way to get more info.
ReplyDeleteAh, Dom and Ed. They were such talents!
re: Silent Witness program - I know! It's sounds so Amish or something.