D No Match For Own Mind

With 4 days to go before class starts, I awoke at 5am in a cold sweat remembering that I had only submitted textbook requests for one class and not the other!!!!! For some reason my brain had only now allowed something to bubble to the surface with crystal clarity: I perfectly recalled an email wherein I listed the textbooks I would need and it was only for one class!! OF COURSE. I had been rushed to send in the orders, probably my mother was hovering over me when I did it, probably she was saying, "Are you done yet? Are you done yet?" like a 4-year old on a playback loop of "Wha' doooing?" and I had submitted the one class thinking I would do the other one later. So like me! I almost vomited. I ran to my computer, waited the 17 years it takes for my 2003 e-Machine (yeah, I bought a $300 e-Machine back in the day, I know, sophomore error. But I will say this: even though it takes its sweet time to open up anything and approximates the noise of a table saw, it has never crapped out on me like every other computer I've owned, and I've dragged it through many states and provinces now) to boot up. The computer asked me if I wanted to update Quicktime and I almost put my fist through the monitor. Slowly Firefox came up, slowly I typed in my login info, slowly my "sent mail" folder came up, slowly it searched for keyword "textbooks." I could taste bile. And then I found the email I had remembered so well and... .... I had submitted the order for both classes all along. Fuck you, Mind!!! Fuck you and your false stupid memories. Perhaps Mind wants me to admit that, yes, I am quite nervous about this upcoming semester and, yes, I am experiencing a lot of anxiety because of it. There, are you happy, Mind? Semester needs to start already so I can get this shooting gallery over with. I feel like Arnold in the Running Man (yep, that's who I've chosen to identify with) waiting for the gongshow to start.

Whoops! Wrong Schwartzenegger Dystopia. Here we go:

Man, Richard Dawson was good in that role. Oh, look! The sun's coming up! Perhaps I need to stop and embrace this quiet insanity before the storm and take stock of where things are now, a year into The 'Twa Period. Things are definitely better than this time last year, for sure. This is something to be thankful for. Montoya is autumning in Balto this semester - that's not necessarily a good thing because I miss him so (along with E!!! I miss E, too!!!) but it's different to not have him around. For example, it turns out Monty does work! Underappreciated, he's been making sure my kitchen floor is free from rogue cheese and vegetable slices and other edible kitchen debris that happens in the course of cooking for years now! I dropped a bunch of couscous on the floor yesterday and really, really missed him then. My messiness might be the secret to his weight gain. This time last year I was excited about my vegetable deliveries and I'm still excited about them! See this week's below:

I had this fantasy that in late summer the basket would be full of peaches and berries and giant tomatoes and large, strange, heirloom vegetables but turns out it's pretty much the usual. The carrots are a little disturbing this time.

This might be genius or absolute crazy but in order to pretend like we still kind of live together, E is going to try to buy the same vegetables as my delivery items and then we can deal with the weekly beet problem together! Hurricane Irene fucked it up the first week because it caused her power to go out for 5 days or something and she couldn't cook and had to throw away most of her fridge and freezer contents but we'll get back on track. She's already trying to wiggle out of the weekly beet and 6-corn-for-one-person! problem but I'm going to stick to my guns. Stay tuned for updates and transnational Chopped battles, etc. Update on this ethical consumption thing: This will shock only the soft-headed but it turns out that special earth-friendly, non-toxic deodorant/antiperspirant really isn't as effective as you want it to be. Given that it doesn't suppress B.O. and I still sweat like a pig (?) with it on, it is akin to putting citrus-infused vegetable oil on your underarms every morning (do not recommend). I made a bargain with self that I would wear the high-test evil stuff on days when I teach and the kind, gentle stuff on days when I'm at home alone but then the lightening bolt struck - when I'm home alone isn't it more ethical to just go au naturel anyway?! Am still using the greenie beaver or whateverthefuck shampoo and conditioner but the price for that was to suffer through a planned intervention staged by my mother and sister re: my need for hair product. Which I now use (on days when I leave my house). So, ethical consumption fail all around. You really need to be living off the grid or in a granola community of only granolas for this to work, I think.